"I have loved you with an everlasting love...And I know the plans I have for you says the Lord"
Jeremiah:29-31
The spiritual life changes through time due to personal experiences and even age. There has been a tremendous amount of suffering, chronic pain, illness, both for myself, my family and throughout the world due in part to the covid-19 global pandemic. Death, fear, anger, and mistrust of our neighbor and government officials is almost a chronic state of affairs in the world today. I have been reflecting on this and on the catholic understanding of the "Dark night of soul" which happens when we engage seriously in our spiritual maturity. We recently celebrated the memorial of St John of the Cross and that got me thinking about his towering work on this subject in his book Ascent to Mount Carmel. I recently felt called at least try to read the book and after reading the prologue was hooked. However, the first 4 chapters were quite intimidating. So I thought "What would it be like if I could ASK Fr John if I was ready to make the ascent or if as a culture are we ready to take the journey for greater union with God?" Here is the letter and I will share in other posts what happened...
Dear fr John, I just started to read your book the Ascent of Mt Carmel. And I don’t yet know if I am ready to go on that journey with you. I do not know if I am sufficiently detached from things I need to let go of. I do not know if I am being invited to enter into the cross with you as my guide. I still desire things, objects, mostly for distraction or comfort but not as an end or pleasure in itself. My relationships on the other hand, have either been taken away by sister death or through some other means, but I am sufficiently alone and have some measure of comfort in solitude and quiet. Physical pain or sickness is always with me. I am becoming increasingly detached from my physical body and am Learning more about the virtue of Hope. Am I ready for this journey? Am I truly entering into the dark night? Pray for me Fr John Blessing before a Christmas Stable Lord Jesus, as I kneel before your manger in adoration, let my first Christmas word be: thank you. Thank you, Gift of the Father, for coming to save me from my sins. Without you I do not know even how to be human. The characteristics of your human body express the divine Person of God’s Son. And in that wondrous expression, Lord, you reveal me to myself. Thank you for that saving revelation in your sacred humanity. As the Christmas liturgy proclaims, in Christ we experience “the holy exchange that restores our life”. Thank you for coming as one like myself to save me from myself. You come as a baby because babies are irresistible and adorable. You come as a baby because you want our first impression of God Incarnate to be that of one who does not judge. How I long to be united with you in every way. May I never be attracted to the allurements and charms of the world. May I love you always, at every moment, with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. May the tenderness, the dependency, and the mercy that you reveal in your infancy become the hallmarks of my life. Newborn Saviour, the very silence of your Incarnation proclaims that the answer to the misery, the strife, and the meaninglessness we often experience in life cannot be found within us. You alone are the Answer. As I kneel before you, eternal King, I surrender to you all my selfishness, self-absorption, self-indulgence, self-righteousness, self-assertion, and self-exaltation. Even as I adore you on this night of your Birth, rid me of the nagging desire to be adored. Word become flesh, you make your dwelling among us. Yet you do not live your life for yourself, but for us. And you enable us to live in you all that you yourself lived. Help me to embrace this truth with all my mind and heart. Come and live your life in me. Empty me of my willfulness, my petulance, my hardness, my cynicism, my contemptuousness. Fill me with your truth, your strength, your fortitude, your purity, your gentleness, your generosity, your wisdom, your heart, and your grace. O Emmanuel, may the assurance of your unfailing Presence be for me the source of unending peace. May I never fear my weakness, my inadequacy, or my imperfection. Rather, as I gaze with faith, hope, and love upon your incarnate littleness, may I love my own littleness, for God is with us. Endow my life with a holy wonder that leads me ever more deeply into the Mystery of Redemption and the meaning of my vocation and destiny. Longed-for Messiah, your servant Saint Leo the Great well wrote that in the very act of reverencing the Birth of our Saviour, we are also celebrating our own new birth. From this night on may my life be a dedicated life of faith marked by holy reliance, receptivity, and resoluteness. May I make of my life a total gift of self. May my humble worship of your Nativity manifest how much I seek the Father’s kingship and his way of holiness. The beauty of your holy face bears the promise that your Father will provide for us in all things. This Christmas I renew my trust in God’s goodness, compassion, and providence. I long for the day when you will teach us to pray “Our Father”. May your Presence, Prince of Peace, bless the world with peace, the poor with care and prosperity, the despairing with hope and confidence, the grieving with comfort and gladness, the oppressed with freedom and deliverance, the suffering with solace and relief. Loving Jesus, you are the only real joy of every human heart. I place my trust in you. Oh divine Fruit of Mary’s womb, may I love you in union with the holy Mother of God. May my life be filled with the obedience of Saint Joseph and the missionary fervour of the shepherds, so that the witness of my life may shine like the star that leads the Magi to your manger. I ask all this with great confidence in your Holy Name. Amen. Father Peter John Cameron, o.p. I think it’s time to start a new category. Conversion stories! And at some point I will be posting my own.
Sister Nirmala Joshi (1934–2015) might have protested her inclusion in this collection of “great” conversion stories. She was very reluctant to draw any attention to herself. In March 1997, when she was elected as the Superior General of the Missionaries of Charity with the blessing of its founder, Saint Teresa of Calcutta, she humbly accepted God’s call but declined the title “Mother.” For Sister Nirmala, all “greatness” was to be found in Jesus in the Eucharist and in the poor whom she served with her whole heart. Nevertheless, the “story” of Jesus calling her from the Hinduism of her childhood into the fullness of knowing and loving him in the Catholic Church is indeed a great story of the working of God’s grace. The work of grace is always mysterious, yet we benefit from simply tracing the indicators of the path she traveled, which show forth the greatness of God’s love. She was the eldest of ten children, born in the northeastern Indian city of Ranchi, and given the name Kusum, meaning “Flower.” Her parents were deeply devout Hindus, and Kusum cherished all that was true and good in their religious practices—especially fidelity to marriage and family, compassion and service to the poor, and a spirit of prayer. She learned these values growing up, and through them God prepared her heart to receive the Gospel. Wishing her to learn English, her father—a British army officer—sent Kusum to a Catholic missionary school (not an uncommon practice for wealthy Hindu families) with no thought of her changing religion. At the school, however, she first learned about Jesus, and around this time she became fascinated by a statue of Jesus and his Sacred Heart in front of a Catholic church. One morning while waiting for the bus, she first experienced the profound sense that Jesus was with her and that she “belonged to him.” She began to learn about his life and teachings and opened her heart to his presence and interior guidance. Nevertheless, as she continued her studies, Kusum struggled against any idea of conversion, which would seem to betray her family and her own cultural tradition. Then came the beginnings of Indian independence in 1947, and the chaos of the partition of her northern region into Hindu India and Muslim Pakistan. In the warfare and massive population displacement that followed, Kusum didn’t see any of the compassion she had learned in her family. She saw only violence begetting more violence. She went to Calcutta in search of a way to help, and there she met a most unusual European religious sister who was begging for the needs of the poorest of the poor and caring for them at her small mission station in the streets of the vast city. That sister was Mother Teresa. “It was inspiration at first sight” for Kusum. She poured out her heart to Mother Teresa, who invited her to stay with her “unconditionally.” After several more years of prayer and service at Mother Teresa’s side, being drawn to Jesus not by any coercive proselytism but by gentle guidance and the luminous witness of Christian love, Kusum was finally baptized into the Catholic Church in 1958, taking the name Nirmala (“purity”). The next month, she entered the Missionaries of Charity. John Janaro is associate professor emeritus of theology at Christendom College, and author of Never Give Up: My Life and God’s Mercy (Servant). He blogs at www.johnjanaro.com. When I think about authentic feminism, I think about Dorothy day. She was a well-known activist and convert to Catholicism who was not only interested in Women’s rights, but in human rights. The innate dignity of the human person especially the dignity of workers. She founded the Catholic Workers Movement and fought for the rights of men and women workers to lift them out of poverty. She was also a prolific writer and philosopher, writing about the common themes of the day, Including taboo topics like sexuality and abortion. Below is a reflection she wrote about Prayer that I found insightful and inspiring. Enjoy! Believing that Prayer Is Answered I do believe in a personal God, because I too have had revelations, answers to my questions, to my prayers, and if the answer fails to come…I have that assurance God gave Saint Paul and he passed on to us, My grace is sufficient for you. And what is grace? Participation in the divine life. And that participation means for me light and understanding and conviction, of course only occasionally, but strong enough to carry me along, to lift me up out of depression, discouragement, uncertainty, doubt…. The frustrations that we experience are exercises in faith and hope, which are supernatural virtues. With prayer, one can go on cheerfully and even happily, while without prayer, how grim is the journey. Prayer is as necessary to life as breathing. It is drink and food…. Pouring rain today. I stayed in, resting—feeling exhausted. Sorrow, grief, exhaust one. Then tonight the prayers, the rosaries I’ve been saying were answered. And the feeling that prayers are indeed answered when we cry out for help was a comfort in itself. I had the assurance that they were answered, though it might not be now. I would not perhaps see the results. Praised be God, the God of all consolation. He comforts us in all our afflictions and enables us to comfort those who are in trouble, with the same consolation we have had from him” (2 Cor. 1:3-4). Suffering draws us to prayer and we are comforted. Or at least strengthened to continue in faith, and hope, and love…. O God, come to my assistance; O Lord, make haste to help us. Lord, hear my prayer, let my cry come to you. In you have I hoped, let me never be confounded. All I have on earth is you. What do I desire in heaven beside you? And that “they” should have you, find you, love you too, those you have given us, sent to us, our children, our flesh and blood. May they cry out for the living God. No one comes to the Father but through me (Jn 14:6). You have said this, Jesus. Draw them, I beg you, I plead with you, so that they will run to the odor of your ointments (Sg 1:3), that they will taste and see that the Lord is sweet(Ps 34:8). Let them seek and find the way, the truth, the light. Servant of God Dorothy Day |
Author
I'm not really a writer, but it's on my long list of aspirations to become one. The first on the list is to become a great Saint! My hope is to share knowledge and inspiration as we walk together during our pilgrim journey on earth and guide each other, hand in hand to the gates of Heaven... If you for find this website helpful please consider making a donation today! Archives
March 2024
Categories
All
|